shit smutchy says

smutchy: omG remember in mario party when the star spot would get moved to the spot you were...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:52:58 -0400

omG remember in mario party when the star spot would get moved to the spot you were standing on and you had to go around the WHO0o0o0LE MAP to get back to it that was the worst

smutchy: why are they making it seem like people are using ACTUAL BATH SALTS to get high no like do...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:52:52 -0400

smutchy:

why are they making it seem like people are using ACTUAL BATH SALTS to get high no like do they really think people are like snorting their moms bed bath and beyond cucumber melon bath salts no you are retarded that is not what is happening people stop it

smutchy: i swear to god if i see one more centipede in my apartment i will set this place on fire

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:52:47 -0400

smutchy:

i swear to god if i see one more centipede in my apartment i will set this place on fire

smutchy: i wonder how many followers i would have if i actually went to the effort of tagging my...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:52:41 -0400

smutchy:

i wonder how many followers i would have if i actually went to the effort of tagging my reblogs the world may never know

smutchy: i just suddenly remembered how in 6th grade we did a unit on “early man” and my teacher...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:51 -0400

smutchy:

i just suddenly remembered how in 6th grade we did a unit on “early man” and my teacher would get mad if you said caveman and i was her fav student cause i was the only one interested in it but everyday i would go home after school and make fun of her stupid “early man” jokes with my sister and my parents and we’d all laugh and then during open house she told my mom that her daughter had killed herself a few months before and that i reminded her of her daughter and i felt really bad for always making fun of her so i made her cookies the next day with a note about how she was a good teacher looooool omg i think that was the first moment in my life where i felt really guilty and awkward ok i just wanted to share that story thx

smutchy: ugh you know how you suddenly think of something nice about someone you are trying to...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:39 -0400

smutchy:

ugh you know how you suddenly think of something nice about someone you are trying to forget and you just get sad and eat even more pizza yuck

smutchy: ok I always think about how fat my thighs are and then I get sad and order pizza wO W

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:33 -0400

smutchy:

ok I always think about how fat my thighs are and then I get sad and order pizza wO W

smutchy: remember when donald trump was gonna run for president oh golly what fun

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:27 -0400

smutchy:

remember when donald trump was gonna run for president oh golly what fun

smutchy: hot dish and rhubarb bars the official meal of minnesota

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:21 -0400

smutchy:

hot dish and rhubarb bars the official meal of minnesota

smutchy: there is this creepy commercial here for a plumbing company and you here an operator for...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:51:16 -0400

smutchy:

there is this creepy commercial here for a plumbing company and you here an operator for the company answer the phone and no one is there and you see the telephone cord at a house leading down the drain and THE SINK PIPE CALLED THE COMPANY idk it is really scary sometimes when I get silent calls at work I wonder if it’s like someone’s hair that is calling us for help omG that is so scary good LORD

smutchy: dat feel when people look at you weirdly in public and you are scared they know your...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:50:25 -0400

smutchy:

dat feel when people look at you weirdly in public and you are scared they know your secret that you are a mermaid

smutchy: I just saved a bundle on my grocery bill by switching to ONLY DELIVERY PIZZA FOR THE REST...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:49:59 -0400

smutchy:

I just saved a bundle on my grocery bill by switching to ONLY DELIVERY PIZZA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smutchy: if i had a penis i would freeze a cup of koolaid around it and then take off the cup and...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:49:30 -0400

smutchy:

if i had a penis i would freeze a cup of koolaid around it and then take off the cup and have a popsicle penis but idk what i would do after that it is just a fun idea

smutchy: sigh work sigh sigh sigh

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:48:47 -0400

smutchy:

sigh work sigh sigh sigh

smutchy: da fuq timblr get it together bro

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:48:42 -0400

smutchy:

da fuq timblr get it together bro

smutchy: u ok facebook r u drunk facebook

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:48:36 -0400

smutchy:

u ok facebook

r u drunk facebook

smutchy: o kwow i need to STOP capitalzing words in sentences because it’s NOT correct grammar to...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:48:30 -0400

smutchy:

o kwow i need to STOP capitalzing words in sentences because it’s NOT correct grammar to just DO THAT and i need to learn how to EMPHASIZE STUFF without doing that omG

smutchy: ok the episode of the simpsons where bart plays stuffed animal parade with ralph omg that...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:47:40 -0400

smutchy:

ok the episode of the simpsons where bart plays stuffed animal parade with ralph omg that part is just too cute and permanently ensured my love for ralph and also when he gets stuck in the giant ear ok the end

me: I would put my penis in so much stuff if I had one

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:46:58 -0400

me: I would put my penis in so much stuff if I had one
me: you guys take it for granted
ben: put it in so many buttholez
ben: ?
me: maybe
me: or just dip it in things
me: like yogurt
ben: >_>

me: did you see the mcnugget paste??

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:45:52 -0400

me: did you see the mcnugget paste??
ben: no
ben: that shit is frozen already
me: oh darn
me: I have a theory that they mixed up the file photos of the ice cream and the nugget meat
me: and every sap that watches TV news got fooled
me: and they were like hey this made a really great story afterall, if you tell anyone the truth YOU’RE DEAD
me: we know where your daughter goes to SCHOOL
me: and we will KILL HER
me: if you tell ANYONE
me: THAT THE PICTURE IS ACTUALLY ICE CREAM
me: and the guy thought about risking it and endangering his family
me: but then his daughter jenny brought home a drawing of her daddy she made in art class
me: and he cried himself to sleep as he watched the latest story on the mcnugget scandal unravel
me: knowing the turth
me: truth
me: and knowing that he was powerless against the lies and distortion of the mass media
me: the
me: end.
me: also I love mcnuggets and everyone can kiss my butt that tells me not to eat them
me: MY BODY MY CHOICES AM I RITE
ben:
ben:
ben:
ben: mcnuggets arent a good value though